Cleverly Why?

If anyone told me my life story would have this scene, I would have screamed at the top of my voice every Thursday for a month. Why Thursday you may wonder, well, Thursdays are for throwbacks and when I remember this story what else am I supposed to do if not scream! After all, It's free.99.

Why all these sudden realisations, you might ask… Chile darling they're are not sudden, I only just got a boost of audacity to talk about it.

People that have met me would readily and speedily refer to me as a quiet person but the Ogeeees know what's really up😁.

I feel like I have countless narratives of myself in every person I've met. I'm just glad no one sees me as an assassin, pauses... Yet😋. Not gonna lie, this makes me wonder how many narratives of me live rent-free in people's heads.

However, here's a narrative that I know left a sour taste in the mouth of the tastee.

So, I decided I was going to be serious, be a changed person and turn a new leaf if at all I was going to leave the singles neighbourhood. I have stayed there for a long time and my landlord was constantly complaining.

Meeting people has never been my problem. I basically meet people at the most random times and ways and we usually have a conversation kick off almost immediately. Like once, I met a kidnapper and he fell in love—can you imagine that? Haters gonna say it’s fake but who cares😌. Notwithstanding, I digress. We're not discussing that today.

I call myself a charmer. Of course, not everybody will agree with that so you can argue with your phone. I decided I was going to give my love life some pulses so I began to network more, socialise more and go out more.

Was it a bad idea? To an extent, yes. 

Did I regret it? no.

Psssst, this happened a while ago, I know some peeps may start calculating timelines, save yourself the hassle and enjoy the post. Tenkio!

I did have fun, and the humour and experience I added to my collection was totally worth it.

I was walking randomly and I met this guy. Let's call him Cleverly. Cleverly quickly introduced himself to me and told me he saw a light shining in the distance (in my head I was like hope this one no be ghost 👻) and how he vowed to himself that he would approach me and have a conversation with me and see where the day would lead him. What a nice intro right? Just wait for it. Hehehe 😁

So he called a couple of times afterwards, and after some conversations, he asked for us to meet up. He asked me if I was conversant with a particular location and the next call I received was him telling me to come to a spot, to which I just responded, “Okay I'll be there.”

Immediately I arrived at the location, he read his welcome odes and started a praise chant on how beautiful I was looking. I enjoyed that part, smiling from teeth to teeth. I then got myself comfortable before he asked the bartender to serve me and he immediately went into talk mode.

Notice I said bar, that was the first mistake. I feel like they were better options of places we could have gone to. Personally, I won't take someone I'm trying to know or have a meaningful conversation with to that kinda place. Something about the ambience. 

Tell me your thoughts, am I overreacting?

Anyways, he told me that he saw me while he was going to see his cousin and immediately portrayed his cousin to be a guy, funny move—I noticed that and I smiled. I was like, “Oh wow!” Then he went, "I noticed you smile a lot." If only he knew why. He proceeded with —"you've got a lovely smile", this human being didn't know why I was smiling.

He told me that he worked with certain people and that he did this and he did that, and that was where the whole picture perfect painting began.

Now I'm not saying you shouldn't paint yourself in a good light, but when you are attempting to do that you should do that with conscience especially in a way that would not portray you as an instant liar.

He went on with how he was valued in his family and how his opinion was optimum, how he contributed to his society and how he had trained his entire community, but in the same breadth hinting how he needed help. I just couldn't understand.

I was asked what I did for work and this was where the conversation started going South. I don't expect everybody to like what I do, however I expect you show some respect for it because it pays my bills.

One of the pointers to people that are not content with themselves is how they are so fast to belittle other people's achievements. I feel like the world is big enough to contain everybody's achievement, however little or big they are. The least you can do is to make that person feel like they're not contributing to society—which was exactly what he did.

At first I found the meeting funny. I was enjoying the moment because I was being entertained for free but at some point it began to get annoying.

I was basically trying to still hold my cool. That didn't last long though. It went from bad to worse in just two sentences. (You're beautiful, you know I like you right 🙄) He started sounding ridiculous cos I was basically completing the lines. 

The straw that killed the carmel was when he said he was looking for someone to build with. Again, don't get me wrong, this is a great comment. The situation was the problem. This guy suggested he was in his 40s, and that he had stopped his bad behaviour in his 20s. Nobody should pay the consequences of your bad behaviour.

I couldn't take it anymore, I rolled my eyes for the 17th time, and yes I was counting. As ludicrous as it might sound, my eyes had a mind of its own, a certain immunity to mendacity.

As I stared at the man sitting across me—we sat in a cosy corner of the bar, the rhythmic beats of Rema x Ice Spice's pretty girl filled the air, adding to the ambiance. I could easily forgive the bar for this, at least the DJ was current. That was a bit of a consolation. However, I couldn't forgive what was happening at that moment. 

This wasn't what I signed up for.

Cleverly didn't stop there, he still praised and blubbered,  incessantly boasting about himself. He talked endlessly about his business ventures, his wealth—or lack of—his prestigious connections in the city, and his intrastate travels around the city. And yeah, you read that right: intrastate travels.

I had attempted to chip into the conversation at intervals at first. You know, register interest, get the conversation flowing by throwing in my bit on whatever topic he was yammering about.

Cleverly wouldn't have it.

He redirected the conversation back to his achievements. Every. Single. Time.

By the time our one-sided conversation was clocking the second half of the hour, I felt like we'd been talking for days. My back hurt from sitting so straight, so stiffly.

I tried once more to steer the conversation toward general knowledge like the incessant rise in dollars but there wasn't much of a conversation surrounding it. I failed.

To say I was disappointed would mean I had genuinely expected better. Truth be told, it hadn't taken long for me to sniff out the type of person Cleverly was. This was just a way for me to confirm my suspicions.

The experiment was over. I was done; couldn't take it anymore.

The scenery outside was suddenly more appealing, and the thought of what I might do if I listened to how Cleverly loved to help the less privileged (despite hinting that he might be one himself) one more time pushed me to my feet.

I excused myself with my tiny purse clutched under my arm.

I left to a new location, ate to ease off the lies I was told and dragged myself home. 

Was it a great experience?

Well, yes if I only considered the last part.

Did I learn my lesson?

Hmmmmmmmmm, all I can say is a win is a win. I certainly learnt to value my time more!

Have you had these types of experiences or are they unique to me, don't be shy, share yours in the comment section.

☬ Fun Fact: Love can be addictive. Falling in love is much like taking a dose of cocaine. Kissing extends your lifespan. (Allegedly).